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To my beloved first born: Let all of it be you.

To my beloved first born: Let all of it be you.

I write this to my daughter A'Olani. She is my first born, my first baby, my forever heart walking outside my body. She is my vulnerability. She is my hope and my inspiration to not just be a "good mom" but to climb the Mt. Everest of motherhood and supersede my own expectations.

There is so much a mother wants for her child. So much she wants to protect her from. If we could we would wrap you up in our arms and with Wonder Woman strength we would defeat every harmful thing that came your way. We would hold your heart and guard it from breaking, from ever felling any pain at all. We would only allow prosperity and blessing to flow within your life. 

We want so many things for our children...but nothing, absolutely nothing assures us that our little ones will have a care free life. A life full of success and free from ever experiencing pain or loss. No, we must live in the reality that bad things do happen to good people, and good things happen to bad people. Life can be ironically cruel and unfair. Trust me love, I know. 

I have experienced plenty of heart aches, plenty of failure and abandonment by those who were called to love me most. I have felt shame and inadequacy. I have loved the wrong people, and let the wrong people hurt me. I know the sorrow and gut wrenching pain of betrayal and heart break.  I know my love...I know.

I write this tonight to tell you...to let all of it be you...and let all of that comes out of every experience be God. Don't harden your heart dear one. Don't loose faith when everything screams at you that it's hopeless. Pray harder, love more, find faith, and defeat fear with determination to let God be who he says he is, your stronghold and everlasting strength in time of you most desperate need...

Oh my love, I have so much to share with you, but for tonight this is enough. Let all that comes out of you, be Jesus and the testimony of his faithfulness time and time again.

I love you my sweet joy. 

Love, Mom

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