Today has been mixed with emotion. I tend to be a very reserved person. When I feel hurt, I tend to put it aside and "keep on swimming." This can a be benefit and a curse. I wrote a bio today for my site that was brutally honest. Nothing in the post was stretched or "misconstrued." It was all true. The feelings, the facts, the outcome, all of it.
The problem is, being this honest has come at a cost. All things have a cost don't they? I had to choose between being honest with myself and no longer pretending, or continue to stuff my disappointment down to avoid offending anyone.
I do not regret my choice to be honest. I regret my choice not to protect my friend. Friends come and go like the tide. But the good ones, the irreplaceable ones stick. As strong as those relationships can be, there will always be the "straw" that threatens to break the back of the relationship. Without any intention to do so, I threw that straw today.
I love my friend. I love me. So how do you choose between being true to yourself, and taking the "hit" for the sake of someone else you love?
So until I figure it out, I will just be still and know that God knows...