For you are fearfully and wonderfully made.
This journey through parenthood hasn't been an easy one. At 35 I am "starting over again" just when the finish line was in sight! I had nearly 6 years to go before my baby "fled the nest" and I could begin living for my own dreams and aspirations again! Then life threw me a wild card. At 34, I discovered I was pregnant after nearly 12 years of being told I would "never conceive again." Along with the unexpected news came a flood of questions and anxiety.
You know, questions like can I do this again? Can I handle the finances it will require as a single mother? Should I consider adoption? Abortion is out of the question, but I wish there was a way to reverse the clock to a time when I was not facing this. One thing I remember very clearly is this, the moment I stared down at this tiny stick displaying the undeniable + sign, a very quiet, calming voice echoed in my heart these words...
"For I know the plans that I have for you declares the Lord, plans not to harm you, but to prosper you, to give you future and a hope...if you call to me, I will answer you and share with you great and mighty things that you do not know." Jeremiah 29:11.
"You are fearfully and wonderfully made. I knew you before I formed you in your mothers womb.." (Jeremiah 1:5) (Psalm 139:16).
Considering myself a christian, pregnancy before marriage is a big mistake. However I felt very strong that God wanted me to know that "how" or with "whom" I conceive a child, has no relevance to the fact that when he chooses to create life, it's never a mistake. It was clear to me that God chose my daughter to live and breathe. Out of all the billions of people walking this earth, he decided I was the "perfect" woman to raise this child. My daughter was no "mistake."
I can't wait to begin this new journey into motherhood. I am prepared to be stretched, challenged, and exhausted. I am also prepared to be captivated, enveloped, joyful, and thankful with a full heart. Welcome Baby Kailani Nevaeh De La Cruz. We are so happy to meet you.
Kailani Nevaeh De La Cruz
Born September 16, 2014
7.5 lbs. 2 oz.
21" Inches long and absolutely perfect!