Coping With and Even Embracing Your Loneliness When You Move to a New City Alone
Moving can be downright draining…
Much less a huge out of state move. Having been in the military I’ve grown quite used to them. From the age of 21 through 27 I moved out of state a total of 9 times. Only 2 of those moves were with a significant other. The rest, well… you guessed it, I made the big transition alone.
Here are just a few tips that I personally have exercised over the years with each move, to help ease the initial loneliness that sets in when you find yourself far from friends and family in a new town and feeling totally alone.
1. Utilize Social Media Groups!
Seriously, Facebook and Instagram are a huge resource for meeting the locals in your new city. After moving to the PNW in 2019, one of the first things I did was join my local community Facebook Pages. Pages such as PNW Photographers, PNWkids, and PNW Single Hikers to name just a few. This can be especially helpful if you are also an entrepreneur like myself, in need of new vendor partnerships and networking! You will have to get outside of your comfort zone for sure, but the payoff is well worth it! I promise you! Of course always use common sense and safety please when meeting new people. Always meet in a public place, and always tell at least one person that you are doing so.
2. Find a Local Coffee Shop and Become a “Regular” there.
This is one of my favorite methods as it’s a simple way to make your new town start to feel like home. By visiting the same coffee shop at least once a week, you get to know the owners, the barista’s and other locals. They too get a chance to get to know you! They may even begin to call you by name and remember your favorite drink which of course will make you feel warm and welcomed. You will begin to notice other regulars and start to greet them as you arrive or leave. After all, we feel much more at home when we begin to feel a sense of community and belonging.
3. Find a Home that Truly Feels Like Home to You
This one is huge. I can not stress it enough. You can never be too picky about choosing the place you are going to live. I waited a whole two months to find my perfect little safe haven after moving to PNW this year. I took my time. I found something that would make me smile every time I walked in the front door. When choosing home decor I chose items that made me feel energized and excited to use them. I even splurged on a Ninja Coffee Maker just to make my mornings that much more cozy. Even the colors of my pots and pans were intentional! Mermaid teal if you are curios. I currently have a Mermaid theme going on in my home and I love it. So even if I go home alone, I don’t feel “alone” or sad, I’m stoked to be in my little piece of heaven that is just mine.
4. Keep a Gratitude Journal.
Yes, I actually do DO this! Every morning after I make my cup of coffee and actually wake my brain up I write down the things I am grateful for. It’s how I start my day every day. Sometimes I am only able to write down just one thing, like… my coffee… and that’s ok! Sometimes I find myself writing pages of things that have recently made my heart sing and I didn’t even realize until the moment I wrote it down! It’s easy to get all emotionally down when we feel disconnected from our friends and family due to distance. So I found this to be a sure fire method to keep my spirits up and stay focused on all the current good in my life!
5. Embrace Your Loneliness.
It’s okay to be lonely girls. Seriously. Embrace it! It doesn’t have to be this big dark cloud full of boredom and unrelenting silence. In fact look at it as quality time with yourself. A chance to slow down just enough to actually hear your own voice, dream new dreams, understand more from a new perspective you could have only gotten from your new life… Embrace change girl. It’s scary as hell yes, but also an opportunity to grow and expand your legacy and write a deeper part to your story! So enjoy it!