Parenting | 4 Signs Of a Toxic Parenting
This one might be a bit hard for us to read. Are any of "perfect parents" of course not! Not any of us. We are all just trying to do the very best we can with the tools we've been given. Not all those "tools" are healthy though. It can be hard for us to fully recognize the toxic methods used by some of our parents, from the healthy ones. The lines can be so easily blurred.
"Want to help stop the bullying epidemic? Don’t act like a bully. Don’t hit, threaten, ignore, isolate, intimidate, ridicule, or manipulate your child. Children really do learn what they live…" - Unknown
Here are 13 signs toxic parenting practices
1. They fail to provide affirmation and security
Some people believe that showing tough love is an important way to ensure that their children are able to take care of themselves in the future. If you were the recipient of this approach on a regular basis, you might even believe that this has had a positive impact on your life.
However, if you practically fall apart now because of any perceived failure or rejection, then this most likely stems from a parent’s toxic refusal to provide you with the right amount of security and affirmation while you were young. Tough love might work sometimes, but it cannot be the only approach a parent takes if they want their child to become a well-rounded adult.
2. They are overly critical
Everyone’s parents criticize from time to time. Without this component, we might never learn how to do numerous things properly, such as everyday chores like washing laundry. A toxic parent takes this to extremes by being overly critical about everything their child does.
Parents can make the mistake of believing that they do this to make sure their children avoid making costly mistakes. Unfortunately, what this behavior really does is cause the child to develop a harsh inner critic that can be borderline crippling during adulthood. They will then be overly critical in their close relationships ultimately destroying them. Who wants to be criticized for everything they think or do, every day? Not me, and I'm sure you don't either.
3. They Demand Your Attention
Toxic parents often steal a child's independence when demanding their attention at all times. This can be seen as bonding between the parent and child, but it is really a parasitic relationship that requires too much of the child’s time and energy. They should be focused on learning other skills. Although it may be difficult at times, a well-rounded parent will allow their children enough space to grow and be kids without demanding constant interaction to suit their own needs.
4. They Make Toxic “Jokes” About You
All parents occasionally pick on their children, but when the so-called jokes become commonplace, this can be a huge problem. You do not need to accept this type of behavior just because your parent has always joked about something such as your height or weight. Ultimately, this is an undermining tactic that can make you feel very badly about yourself. If a parent has a legitimate concern to address with their child, they should be honest and non-critical, as opposed to making mean jokes.